I was fighting to stay alive.
Physically I was fine, it was on the inside where I felt like I was dying. The demons took me by surprise and almost won.
Nothing significant happened to cause them to return. I was distraught for no reason and I was so angry. I was angry because I felt worthless and alone. I felt my life escaping me as I fought the urge of doing the unthinkable.
The demons this time came with such force. They took me to a dark place. Somewhere so frigid and empty that I could only feel the warmth of my boiling blood and could only hear the loud thumps of my racing heart. Come to think of it, I bet that is what it feels like to be in solitary confinement. That’s why the people who come out of there go crazy. I felt like I was going crazy even though I was only there for a few minutes, maybe an hour. I fought to keep my sanity intact. I needed to find a window or some sign of hope.
So, I prayed and prayed like I’ve never prayed before.
My God, had you not been there, I wouldn’t be recounting this today.
I prayed for Him to give me strength. A sign to remind me that I am not alone and that I have so much to live for. Right as I finished my desperate pleas, my dog growled at the door, asking to be let out. That is when I snapped out of it. The lights were all of a sudden brighter than before, and my dog’s eyes as she saw me, gleamed like a shining sign of hope.
I sat there, stunned, still trembling from fighting so hard.
God had listened to my pleas and delivered.